Cant Wait to See My Baby Again
The Reason You Can't Look To Meet Her Doesn't Start With Her Beauty
Several years ago a friend shared this passage from the book Attachments by Rainbow Rowell.with me. It struck me then and every time I've read information technology since, it makes me interruption and think. Information technology hits close to dwelling when I think about dating and relationships.
He knew why he wanted to kiss her. Because she was beautiful. And earlier that, because she was kind. And before that, because she was smart and funny. Because she was exactly the correct kind of smart and funny. Because he could imagine taking a long trip with her without ever getting bored. Because whenever he saw something new and interesting, or new and ridiculous, he e'er wondered what she'd take to say most it—how many stars she'd give it and why.
It is a perfect summary of what I've been looking for in a human relationship. Probably what we are all looking for actually. I spent years trying to figure it out, what works for me, what doesn't, what are the deal breakers and must haves. Now, I'm not and so sure that is the correct way to expect at things. Of grade nosotros accept qualities we are looking for and things we know fit better with our beliefs and approach to life. Merely often those are just boxes to check on an application and are just surface things, the ones that are easy to find or easy to fake.
Dating once again after divorce, I began to realize my perspective had changed, not just on what I want in a partner but how to identify those traits in people. Information technology has been clear the real stuff, that lies much deeper in our souls than we allow most people see, is the place to look in other people and to share of yourself. It isn't just the photo on Tinder or what nosotros write in our Lucifer profile.
Of course it all starts with concrete attraction and the easy things to take in common…music choices, favorite books, hobbies, etc. Merely the people nosotros truly connect with become more of those surface things the deeper you dig. The books they choose become much more interesting…considering the person telling you about it cares deeply and thoughtfully about why they choose that book. Their hobbies are much more than enjoyable than yous may have showtime idea because the time you spend is with them, non the activity you choose. The reason you can't expect to meet her doesn't get-go with her beauty…it ends with it. It starts with her ambition and conviction and grows with her humor and kindness.
Past no means do I have it all figured out. Merely as I've met people and dated I regularly expect at this passage as a reminder of what the relationship should be and how we fit in each others world. Can I be me? The real me, not the profile written to sound interesting or the perfect ideal of a dad and his 2 daughters. But the real person that questions the choices he makes well-nigh his career and struggles with deep stress from co-parenting very strong willed children. Tin I exist that guy and still be comfy with her?
I've always been guilty of getting caught upward in feelings…in excitement and chemical science. Not that these things aren't a big function of attraction, but what this passage reminds me is the goal is much deeper. It isn't tied up in how does she make me experience…it is far more: how exercise I feel about myself when I am with her.
I'm more convinced now than ever before that this exists. Does this contribute to a lasting relationship? We'll run into. Merely I believe information technology is absolutely the starting point. 
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/patrick-sallee/2016/04/the-reason-you-cant-wait-to-see-her-doesnt-start-with-her-beauty/
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